"...you probably think this song is about you. Don't you? Don't you?"
I remember when I first heard that song. It's said that Carly Simon, the artist that sang it, never divulged who she was talking about but I imagine every man in her life squirmed every time it played. I thought it was so funny! It reminded me of our, ok MY, natural tendency to make everything about me. Don't "SMH" me. You do it too. No matter what kind of self-esteem you have I believe part of our sinful nature is to be self-centered. Think about it, as we read scriptures, watch a television show, or hear someone's story how many times do we say or think, "Maaan if that was me...?!" I may not always act on what's in my best interest first or even at all, but best believe it crossed my mind! That is until it should. Until my other human sinful inclination kicks in. The art of being able to quickly identify the downfall of others while seeing myself through rose colored glasses. I have to check myself often when sitting in sermons and thinking "Dang, I gotta get so-in-so this dvd they really need this word."
Yes, when a word or THE word starts to step on my toes I two-step like nobody's business . My internal dialogue w/the Spirit goes something like this "Who ME?" "Yes YOU!" "Couldn't be?" "Then who?" I constantly live on the battlefield of telling God yes while telling him no. I know, I know. A double-minded (wo)man is unstable in all her ways. It's quite the balancing act that can leave you feeling quite dizzy and schizo if unchecked. So THIS is what dying to the flesh really means for me?! At least for now. It doesn't mean going to Africa to be a missionary or giving my favorite shoes to a homeless person (like I used to think). It could one day. Right through here though? My task is learning how to die to MY innate bent towards doubt and fear. I am a pro at talking myself out of anything that seems foreign or that has any chance of failure (translation EVERYTHING). So my growth in this season will be demonstrated by my ability to say "Yes" and my commitment to following through. I wish I had a great success story about this to share right here but I don't. It's a new and continuing journey and I'm a little tortoise like in the execution but I'm walking nonetheless because at the end of the day it's not about me. It's about God graciously using me to further express His love, grace and compassion in the earth. And that's a good enough reason to say Yes.
Um, 'scuse me Miss Thang. So-in-so isn't here. You are. So that means apparently YOU are the one that needs this word.
One of my favorite songs right now , "All About You", perfectly sums all this up for me. It's one of the many awesome songs on the debut project of Anita Wilson (of Donald Lawrence & Company) Worship Soul. The hook contains my favorite lyric...
"I will pursue what pleases you, I will follow through 'cause I realize it's all about You!"
Take a listen, enjoy and then go buy this project! It's available starting today on Itunes, Amazon, Best Buy, Walmart. It'll bless your life!
Until next time, that's my two cents!
