You're So Vain...

"...you probably think this song is about you. Don't you? Don't you?"

I remember when I first heard that song.  It's said that Carly Simon, the artist that sang it, never divulged who she was talking about but I imagine every man in her life squirmed every time it played.  I thought it was so funny! It reminded me of our, ok MY, natural tendency to make everything about me. Don't "SMH" me. You do it too.  No matter what kind of self-esteem you have I believe part of our sinful nature is to be self-centered. Think about it, as we read scriptures, watch a television show, or hear someone's story how many times do we say or think, "Maaan if that was me...?!" I may not always act on what's in my best interest first or even at all, but best believe it crossed my mind! That is until it should.  Until my other human sinful inclination kicks in. The art of being able to quickly identify the downfall of others while seeing myself through rose colored glasses. I have to check myself often when sitting in sermons and thinking "Dang, I gotta get so-in-so this dvd they really need this word." 

Um, 'scuse me Miss Thang. So-in-so isn't here. You are. So that means apparently YOU are the one that needs this word.  

Yes, when a word or THE word starts to step on my toes I two-step like nobody's business . My internal dialogue w/the Spirit goes something like this "Who ME?" "Yes YOU!" "Couldn't be?" "Then who?" I constantly live on the battlefield of telling God yes while telling him no.  I know, I know. A double-minded (wo)man is unstable in all her ways. It's quite the balancing act that can leave you feeling quite dizzy and schizo if unchecked. So THIS is what dying to the flesh really means for me?! At least for now. It doesn't mean going to Africa to be a missionary or giving my favorite shoes to a homeless person (like I used to think). It could one day. Right through here though? My task is learning how to die to MY innate bent towards doubt and fear. I am a pro at talking myself out of anything that seems foreign or that has any chance of failure (translation EVERYTHING).  So my growth in this season will be demonstrated by my ability to say "Yes" and my commitment to following through. I wish I had a great success story about this to share right here but I don't. It's a new and continuing journey and I'm a little tortoise like in the execution but I'm walking nonetheless because at the end of the day it's not about me. It's about God graciously using me to further express His love, grace and compassion in the earth. And that's a good enough reason to say Yes. 

One of my favorite songs right now , "All About You", perfectly sums all this up for me. It's one of the many awesome songs on the debut project of Anita Wilson (of Donald Lawrence & Company) Worship Soul.  The hook contains my favorite lyric...

"I will pursue what pleases you, I will follow through 'cause I realize it's all about You!"

Take a listen, enjoy and then go buy this project! It's available starting today on Itunes, Amazon, Best Buy, Walmart. It'll bless your life! 
Until next time, that's my two cents! 

Open

"If you learn how to not get attached, then you won't get hurt. Plain & simple."                           A lovely young woman I know, posted this on FB the other day; essentially a prescription for avoiding a broken heart.

 People rant and make declarations on FB all the time and usually I keep scrolling. This time I had to stop because that is something I have said and/or thought thousands of times over the course of my nearly middle-aged life. I can completely relate to feeling disappointed, discouraged and sometimes devastated because people don't reciprocate or even worse take for granted your love and kindness. It sucks. So I completely understand the decision to just not do it anymore. As a matter of fact, it seems like the wise thing to do. I'm not proud to say it, but It's pretty much been one of the guiding principles of my life. Love people, be nice but don't let anybody get too close.  Problem is, it works far too well. Yes, you're protected from tear-soaked pillows and being "so sick of love songs" BUT it also keeps people from being able to really love YOU.  You can't receive love because you have essentially made your heart inaccessible to EVERYONE--even God.                       Walled in from pain also means walled in from love. 

And we all know what happens to folks that aren't loved...they're bitter and mean. Those things might not manifest for you like the old spinster with all the cats or the grumpy old man who never returns the balls that land in his yard BUT you will see the fruit of a loveless life.  Things like...surface conversations, mistrust of everyone, mechanical worship, self-centeredness, low self-esteem, people pleasing. The list could go on and on. Surface, mistrusting, mechanical, self-centered, people pleasing...no one says they want to grow up and be all those things.

 I guess, all I'm trying to say is 1) Be careful what you declare over your life and 2) Stay open. There's a whole world of love waiting for you! 

With that in mind, enjoy this BEAUTIFUL song by Kevin Levar. A great prayer and goal for us all. That's NicoleForYourThoughts what are yours? (Thoughts that is.) 

My Two Cents

Has it really been a year and a half since I've been here? Geesh. Welp, it's never too late to start over right? So I shall.  It's a new day and I'm in a new place so rather than use this platform to reveal my deepest unconfessed sins as a friend used to say, I'm gonna use it to share some things that I LOVE and maybe spark some interesting conversation along the way.  


Anyone that knows me knows that I am not short on opinions. I have an opinion on pretty much everything. I have learned however that because people kinda do listen to me I need to be really wise, careful and spirit-led in which opinions I share and when I share them. With that being said, this will not be a place where you'll find wardrobe critiques, reality star updates or the latest gossip about fallen christian du jour. I will, however, share the things I love and my commentary on anything I find interesting, compelling or funny. This is likely to include music, movies, restaurants, tv shows and of course food. Not sure where we'll end up so buckle up and let's figure it out together! 


Oh and I think I work better as a team so I'm counting on you to be my co-hosts at the proverbial round table.  So if you see something you like comment and share. If you see something you don't like or disagree with feel free to comment but you don't have to share that part. lol Give me a minute to thicken my skin before you throw me to the sharks! Alright heeeere we go!