"If you learn how to not get attached, then you won't get hurt. Plain & simple." A lovely young woman I know, posted this on FB the other day; essentially a prescription for avoiding a broken heart.
People rant and make declarations on FB all the time and usually I keep scrolling. This time I had to stop because that is something I have said and/or thought thousands of times over the course of my nearly middle-aged life. I can completely relate to feeling disappointed, discouraged and sometimes devastated because people don't reciprocate or even worse take for granted your love and kindness. It sucks. So I completely understand the decision to just not do it anymore. As a matter of fact, it seems like the wise thing to do. I'm not proud to say it, but It's pretty much been one of the guiding principles of my life. Love people, be nice but don't let anybody get too close. Problem is, it works far too well. Yes, you're protected from tear-soaked pillows and being "so sick of love songs" BUT it also keeps people from being able to really love YOU. You can't receive love because you have essentially made your heart inaccessible to EVERYONE--even God. Walled in from pain also means walled in from love.
And we all know what happens to folks that aren't loved...they're bitter and mean. Those things might not manifest for you like the old spinster with all the cats or the grumpy old man who never returns the balls that land in his yard BUT you will see the fruit of a loveless life. Things like...surface conversations, mistrust of everyone, mechanical worship, self-centeredness, low self-esteem, people pleasing. The list could go on and on. Surface, mistrusting, mechanical, self-centered, people pleasing...no one says they want to grow up and be all those things.I guess, all I'm trying to say is 1) Be careful what you declare over your life and 2) Stay open. There's a whole world of love waiting for you!
With that in mind, enjoy this BEAUTIFUL song by Kevin Levar. A great prayer and goal for us all. That's NicoleForYourThoughts what are yours? (Thoughts that is.)
Girl! First of all this blog is gonna get me in trouble because I feel like I'm talking to my best friend so it's all free and clear but then I remember where I'm at (as my mamma use to say). So, with that bit of self-regulation in place let me say... THIS statement right here. -> "Walled in pain also means walled in from love." is so true! After my fiance' died I went behind those walls and told everybody to just leave me alone. After a while I felt so un-loved and realized I did that to myself and had to come out. Truth!
ReplyDeleteAmen for self-regulation! lol Glad it resonated with ya. You should know, however, that we didn't know you shut us out so even in your unloving you love! :) Glad you turned the corner though.
ReplyDeleteoh, not you guys. Mens! LOL
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